London men could be at risk from a 'self-care gap', doctor warns

A worrying trend has been uncovered among British men: with over half (52%) admitting that they are burnt out. Yet many are too ashamed to rest, fearing they’ll be seen as lazy or weak, according to a new survey released for Men’s Health Week.

The nationwide study, commissioned by luxury hot tub brand, Platinum Spas, found that 50% of men say they never get enough rest or relaxation time and deep-rooted beliefs around masculinity and productivity are stopping many from doing anything about it.

“Rest is a waste of time” - Is there a masculinity gap in self-care?

Shockingly, more than a quarter (28%) of men still believe that rest is “a waste of time”. Nearly half (44%) feel guilty when they do take time out, while 39% worry they’ll be judged by others.

Dr Gracie McLaven, founder and clinical psychologist at Brain Body Wealth told Platinum Spas: “We have to see this as a serious public health concern. As a population, we‘ve become disconnected from the importance of rest. It’s not laziness or indulgence, it’s a biological and psychological need.

“Rest is absolutely vital for our mental health, it’s during these quiet moments that our brain is able to process thoughts, regulate emotions, and consolidate memories. Without rest, our minds stay in a constant state of overload, which can lead to increased stress, irritability, and difficulty coping. Our nervous systems become dysregulated, our emotional reserves get depleted, and even small tasks can start to feel unmanageable.”

Dr McLaven continues: “In the therapy room, I often hear people express guilt around resting. When we explore this, it almost always traces back to the belief that their self-worth is tied to productivity. The idea that, “I’m only valuable if I’m doing more”.

“The problem with this mindset is that it sets us up to constantly fall short. There’s always more we could be doing, so we rarely feel like we’ve done enough.”

Men admit burnout is hitting their mental health

When asked about the effects of poor rest, men reported negative impacts on: mood (44%), motivation (35%), enjoyment of life (35%), anxiety (31%), and worse mental resilience (31%).

And yet, the biggest barrier to better rest? The pressure men put on themselves not to seem “lazy”. Over a quarter (28%) admitted this is something they regularly struggle with.

What type of rest do men actually want (but feel weird trying)?

Despite men’s current go-to habits (like TV and junk food), British men are increasingly curious about more mindful, wellness-inspired forms of rest. Many say they’d like to try: saunas and hot tubs (39%), spas, massages or red light therapy (36%), and slow mornings (35%).

But embarrassment and discomfort are holding them back:

• 27% are uncomfortable with yoga or meditation
• 26% feel uneasy about going to a spa
• 25% say therapy makes them uncomfortable
• 22% would feel awkward doing a digital detox

Prioritising rest isn’t a weakness

This disconnect between what men want and what they allow themselves to do points to a gap in self-care.

With 65% of men saying they want to improve their long-term rest habits, It’s time to rethink how we talk about rest for men; not as laziness, but as an important part of long term mental and physical health. Prioritising wellbeing shows strength, not weakness, and allows men to better show up for themselves and their loved ones.